Why Visualizing Your Goals Is So Crucial
March 3, 2019
How to Create a Powerful Morning Ritual
May 2, 2019
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How to Release Your Inner Critic
Last month's theme focused on progress, not perfection. In order to gain freedom from our perfectionistic tendencies, we have to release our inner critic.
This topic is particularly relevant today as "between 1989 and 2016, the self-oriented perfectionism score increased by 10 percent, socially prescribed increased by 33 percent and other-oriented increased by 16 percent" according to a study released by the Psychological Bulletin last year.
While millennials are impacted by increased pressure to achieve a college degree and to start a solid career, I believe that most of us are feeling increased pressure from social media and our changing culture. There is tremendous pressure for each of us to present a life of luxury.
Missing from the equation is what some call the grey areas. In other words, very few of us are sharing our struggles, misfortunes, or challenges. Instead we only share the good stuff online. Due to this shift, this is beginning to bleed into our face-to-face relationships as more people continue to put on a "mask".
As this external cultural pressure increases, we are reaching an unprecedented boiling point of internal pressure. I believe this is increasing the noise factor in each of our inner critic's....causing undue negative self talk at an all time high.
What is Your Inner Critic?
Your inner critic or inner voice is typically defined as a voice that judges and demeans you. When you look in the mirror this voice may be saying, "I am too fat" or "My hair looks terrible today" for example. After completing a big presentation or work assignment, this voice plagues you with "I will never be good enough" or "I could have done more".
Any time you experience negative self talk this is the voice of your inner critic.
How to Fix it?
The first step to fixing any habitual problem is to begin recognizing when the problem arises. In this case, any time you start hearing your inner critic or negative self talk, begin by noticing.
Make sure you don't beat yourself up for the fact that you are having critical thoughts. Instead, become curious about what's causing your inner critic to act up or get loud.
Some Questions to Ask Your Inner Critic
- What specific thoughts is your critic expressing?
- Are these thoughts really true?
- What possible positive intention might these thoughts have, if any?
- What triggered this string of thoughts anyhow?
In becoming curious, you naturally release judgment and open the door for nurturing and more pleasant thoughts. You also begin to learn about the potential triggers of negative thinking.
How to Rewire Your Thinking?
You are probably wondering how to change your thinking now that you have caught your inner critic and are understanding it more clearly. So what's next? How do you up level your mindset?
In order to get closer to the things we desire, we must THINK about those things. If we want to be healthy and fit, we should begin thinking "I am getting healthier every day" or "I am becoming more fit every moment". If you instead think "I am unhealthy and unfit", you are making it more difficult to gain momentum and improve your health and fitness.
To rewire your thinking and to have healthier internal conversations with yourself takes effort. Identifying your negative thinking patterns and writing them out can help you figure out the false beliefs you have about yourself and the world. Once you identify those, you can begin with NEW affirmations focused on the outcomes you desire instead.
For example, if I think "I am unattractive and fat" then I could adopt a new affirmation of "I am beautiful and fit". If that feels like too big of a stretch, you could try "I am beautiful inside and out and becoming more fit every day." The goal here is to create new thoughts that are guiding you in the right direction...to your desired state.
Daily affirmations and meditations do work and help tremendously; but it won't happen over night. Most of these inner critic thoughts have been circling deep inside our minds for decades since we were little ones. So be gentle with yourself and persistent. Always remain curious, patient, and stay the course.
Need Support?
Sometimes we have BIG obstacles to overcome and need an extra boost to help us get there. 90% of us know what we need to do but very few of us actually do it and achieve it.
As a coach, women hire me to ignite their ambition while balancing their drive with rest. I help them identify, capture, and rewire limiting beliefs so that they can achieve anything they set their minds to.
If you need coaching support, please schedule a complimentary Total Transformation Discovery session with me today.
